Freshers, and I don’t feel so fresh.

Well, I guess we have some catching up to do guys (she says like anyone actually reads this). I got to Derby, on the 15th, been here two weeks now. Of course the first thing I did when I got here was party for two weeks straight, because freshers. I made friends, got to know my flatmates, my coursemates, and some people I just fancied knowing… Then we all got drunk a lot and did stupid things. Sounds fun doesn’t it? In the past two weeks I have woken up in the following states-

1. On someone’s floor

2. In my bed, which was full of spoons that didn’t belong to me

3. Covered in UV paint

4. In my bed, with eight glowsticks and some flashing rabbit ears

5. Wearing last night’s clothes (x3)

6. Covered in army paint and holding a shot glass

7. Hungover. Every damn time.

So as you can see, it’s been a busy few weeks. I’ve learned a lot- Teabags are like currency, Iceland is your friend, and cheap-ass white wine tastes better with dilute-y blackcurrant in. It sounds pretty fun, and it has been, but once the parties stop and the drink wears off it only then hits you just whatdafuq has happened to your life.

I live alone now.

Alone.

By myself.

I am responsible for me.

I’m not saying I’m useless, I can cook, clean and generally look after myself, but having walked to the shops without my purse OR my flat keys twice in the past week I can’t help but wonder how long I’ll cope.

To be honest, I think the most obvious issue I’m skating so skillfully around is that I miss home. I do. I’m not homesick exactly, but I do feel a bit out of place, Derby doesn’t feel like home. My biggest problem is any spare time I happen to have, I can’t exactly wander over to see my mates ten minutes away now can I? It is difficult to comprehend that my friendship group has been scattered country-wide in the space of a few weeks, but what’s more difficult is that most of them are, in fact, no further from home than Durham and all at the same university. The one thing I really feel like I’m missing out on is the idea that for the foreseeable future I will never have the pleasant surprise of an unexpected friend ringing the bell with chocolate and wine because they checked my twitter and knew I felt down.

But hey, I chose Derby and I love it, I really do. I will check back sooner next time and I know I’ll be happier and better adjusted. All I want is a hug and a home cooked meal, but I think that might actually happen here in time.